Let’s Talk About Sex

male femaland anatomy! Ok ladies, we all know how easy it is to talk about sex while sitting with our girlfriends drinking wine, but most of us find it difficult to broach this topic with our children no matter how old they are. When is it appropriate to start talking about sex, anatomy, etc. with our kids? The correct answer is as soon as possible! Now, I’m no sex education expert or anything, but if I wasn’t doing my current job, I would be a sex educator. Sex education is so important and not enough parents talk to their children honestly about it.
Now, I’m not saying that you want to talk to your 3 year old about the ins and outs of intercourse (I know, bad joke), but you do want to start labeling body parts by their correct names right from the beginning. Sure it can be embarrassing sometimes to say “penis” or “vagina” to your baby, but imagine the confusion for them if you start calling it a ding-a-ling or a cupcake or something crazy like that (and I work with kids so I’ve heard some crazy shit)! I speak from experience because we use an Italian slangy type word for referring to the backside (it’s a family thing) and my son confused the hell out of his preschool teachers last year when he told them his coolie hurt when he fell on the playground! He knew he had a penis because I had always labeled it that way, but it didn’t occur to me that calling his rear end a coolie could come back to bite me in the ass (I know, bad joke again)!
It’s also important to be honest with your kids about gender differences so that they clearly understand from a young age that boys and girls have different parts. This conversation may come before you plan on actually having it. I mean come on, how many of us have had our kids walk in on us or your husband/boyfriend while getting dressed or showering? Here is another area I can address from experience. When my now 5 year old son was 3 ½ years old, he came busting in on me in the bathroom as I was drying off after a shower. He looked at me wide eyed and said, “Mommy, where is your penis?” So I stammered out an explanation about me not having a penis because I am a girl and what I have is called a vagina. So then he follows up my strained explanation with this gem, “Well how do you pee then?” So I quickly reply with, “Mommy sits down. Now go play with your brother!” I had planned on having this conversation with him at some point soon, but of course, he beat me to the punch as kids often do!
Now, if only this was the only time this type of thing happened to me! A few weeks after that incident, I took this same son (we’ll call him T-Rex) to see The Fresh Beat Band (I know, I should be sainted) and he had to go to the bathroom. I took him into a stall and then decided I had to go too. So we are squeezed into that damn tiny stall and I’m trying to squat as quickly as I can and get out of the sweltering bathroom when he very loudly (of course) said, “Mommy, are you going to go poopy?” Oh dear god, are you kidding me right now? So I very calmly said, “No T-Rex, I am not going poopy. I am just going pee pee like you did.” “But Mommy, you are sitting down, how are you going to pee pee sitting down?” Really, I have to have this conversation again and this time in a public restroom? I very briefly re-explained that I have a different body part then he does because I am a girl and that girls pee sitting down and then I got the hell out of there! So you see ladies, have the conversation early on because it will happen even if you don’t want it to!

{To be continued…}


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