Goodbye 2014 and Goodbye to the Bullshit That Came With It


As we say goodbye to 2014, I am left reflecting on what kind of year this has been. Overall, it wasn’t a bad year for me personally. It could have been better, but I guess I can’t complain.

But, what does strike me the most is all of the human rights travesties that went on. I spent much of this year being disgusted and angry at so many things that I certainly hope 2015 is better in that respect.

What has prompted me to write this is a post I saw last night on Facebook about a transgender teen, Leelah Alcorn, that killed herself and her last request, in her suicide note, is that society change their view and acceptance of the transgender community.                                        And I couldn’t agree more. I’m disgusted and saddened that this poor girl felt like she had no one to turn to and no support system. So much so, that her only way to find comfort was to escape her life altogether. The worst part is that her parents tried to smother her with their skewed and wretched Christian ideals- telling her she wasn’t normal and that there was something wrong with her. They took her to Christian counselors who told her the same thing! Gender identity disorder/gender dysphoria is a real thing- it’s not just something “in someone’s head” and it’s not “attention seeking” or the person “just being confused.” And it is not the same as someone being gay!!

Being a counselor myself, this is what enraged me the most! I know many counselors who are Christian, Jewish, etc. but they know enough to keep their personal religious beliefs just that- personal! Part of our ethics code as mental health professionals is that we keep our personal beliefs out of the therapeutic process because it doesn’t belong there! Our job is to guide people toward healing, not push our beliefs on people. We should help people and helping someone most definitely does not mean telling the person there is something wrong with them and to encourage them to “pray away the gay” (or other such ignorant drivel).

I’m so god damn tired of people quoting the bible as their proof that homosexuality and same-sex marriage is wrong. People who say that don’t realize what fucking morons they are! If god created all humans, as bible thumpers believe, then doesn’t that mean that god created homosexuals? Oh wait! That’s right! Homosexuality is a choice isn’t it? (Insert sarcastic tone and eye roll here). Doesn’t the bible teach people to love one another unconditionally? And doesn’t it also teach that only god should judge and only on judgment day? I guess that doesn’t apply to people who don’t fit into “the norm.”  We can judge the hell out of them and that’s okay! And it’s some of these same bible thumpers that think it’s okay to inflict pain on homosexuals and also they call them names and say insulting things toward them. Yes, that’s very Christian of you!

There are only a few things in life I despise- ignorance, stupidity, and hypocrisy! In my opinion, bible thumpers like that embody all three! But they are just too blind to see who they really are because they think they are superior to everyone. I seriously try not to hate because it’s a wasted emotion, but I have a lot of hate for those types of people; I just can’t help it. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it. I’ll have fun partying in hell with the rest of the renegades!

I’m also disgusted by all of the set-backs with women’s rights. It’s like we are going backwards instead of forward! It’s like all of the fighting that was done in the past by so many strong women, is being wasted. Since when did what I do with or to my body become everyone’s business? Since when should men, who have no fucking clue what it’s like to be a woman, get to make decisions about my reproductive rights!?!

My argument about bible thumpers above applies here also. My absolute favorite is how all of the single mothers who had children out of wedlock are the first to step up and complain that birth control and or abortion are against their religion. Well, last I checked having sex before marriage is also, but how easily they forget that they let a guy into their pants before they walked down the aisle and took those sacred vows before god. Again, fucking hypocritical morons! I think the whole born-again-Christian thing is total bullshit anyway, but it cracks me up with idiots that think they can be born-again virgins! Sorry, chica- if there’s been a dick in there then you’re shit outta luck on that one!

Then there are all of the crazy race issues that have been going on in this country. It enrages me that there are still so many racist assholes out there. And it also enrages me that people create drama where there isn’t any. How does looting and rioting solve the race issues that still remain in this country? I understand that people are angry at some of the things that have gone on, but does stealing make that better? Does it fix the problem or just create more of a problem? Do we need to hate all police officers and law enforcement officials because there are assholes out there on a power trip who abuse the power of their job title? Do we need to kill innocent people to prove a point? Does it help to only focus on the bad stuff certain police officers have done while ignoring the criminal activity the person did that got the police involved in the first place? I’m not, in any way, excusing the abuse of power and gross displays of racism exhibited by certain police officers, but people need to stop focusing only on that and remember that the police became involved with that person for a reason. People also need to stop hating all police officers because of the ignorance of a select few. If everyone’s views continue to remain so one-sided, this country will never thrive.

One last thing that really got my goat this year is the woman, Brittany Maynard, who chose to die with dignity because a brain tumor was killing her.   Crazy bible thumpers got their panties in a wad over this because it was ‘toying with god’s plan.’ Well, pretty sweet plan that god came up with- killing a woman slowly and painfully with a brain tumor. Or even allowing brain tumors to exist at all- but I digress…

The whole ‘right to die’ thing is quite controversial, but it shouldn’t be. Again, who the hell are you to decide what I can and can’t do with (or to) my body if it will end a person’s suffering? She chose to die with dignity and on her own terms, rather than suffering in pain and withering away into a vegetable. I speak from experience on this one folks. My father passed away from a glioblastoma ( ), the same thing she was diagnosed with, and it was not a pretty sight. I watched a once big and strong man, wither away right before my eyes. He lost his ability to walk, to use the bathroom on his own, and eventually he couldn’t speak or move at all. We gave him drops of morphine straight into his mouth to ease the pain we knew he was in, but could not express to us in words. Unable to swallow his saliva and phlegm, we had to use a turkey baster to suck it out so that he wouldn’t choke. He lay there in a comatose state, a shell of the man I knew and loved. I held his hand as he took his last breath and I watched the man I love the most in this world die right before my eyes.

So I say fuck you and the horse you rode in on to anyone who doesn’t support the ‘right to die’ movement. You are insensitive, ignorant, close-minded pricks. If someone is truly dying and will die a death full of pain and suffering then how is it hurting anyone if they choose to end their life before being riddled with pain? Unless you have witnessed it first hand as I did, you have absolutely no idea what it’s like to die from a glioblastoma (or any other horrible disease) so you have no right to an opinion on it! I wouldn’t wish what my father went through on anyone so to take away someone’s right to choose to end their suffering is the same as wishing pain and suffering on a person. There is a HUGE difference between suicide and choosing to die with the assistance of a doctor. Jack Kevorkian may have been bat shit crazy, but he was certainly on to something. I would have made the same decision as she did. She was brave to do so, as courageous as they come and I applaud her and her family and friends who supported her.

Need I remind people that we are entering 2015! It’s time to step out of the dark ages! When will equality become a true reality? Gender, sexual orientation, race, age, etc. need to be taken out of the equation. What we need to see is just people; human beings. Simple as that. If people would just mind their own business and focus on themselves and if people who stop being blind to the truth in a situation, this world would be a much more peaceful place.

So my hope for 2015 is that people leave their ignorance and hypocrisy in 2014 so that we can move toward equality and peace in this country. For my part, I will continue to fight the good fight and do whatever I can, whether it is big or small, to help the move toward equality. Now that my boys are getting older, I will teach them more about unconditional acceptance and to be tolerant of people’s differences. They are the next generation and it my job as a parent to teach them to be leaders and to lead fairly and justly and without judgment or conditions. If I can do that in the coming year, then I will consider 2015 to be a success.  So goodbye 2014, I’m leaving you in the past where you belong…


Religion is Ridiculous

religion is ridiculous



I completely admit that I think religion, “believing,” church, etc. is totally ridiculous. I also think “believing” is weak. I’m trying to figure out how to even start this post because I have so much going through my head right now I can’t even get my thoughts straight!

            I suppose the first thing I should say, in case you hadn’t already figured it out, is that I am what you would call a “non-believer.” Looking back, I’ve never really believed in god or religion even though I was raised in a very Italian Catholic family. In fact, many people in my family are quite religious, but this doesn’t change my opinion on the matter. I love and respect everyone in my family, but I just don’t get the whole belief thing.

            Christians are asked to believe in a god that created the universe, created the heavens and the earth, created man and animal… yet does no one ever wonder who created this supposed ‘god?’ That is a question I asked my religion teacher and parents at the very young age of 6. (. I have always been the type of person that questions everything. The answer I was given (“god always was and always will be”) not only was not acceptable to me, but it also definitely did not answer my question. That answer is a cop-out because no one has an answer!

            So you’re telling me that I should believe in something that has absolutely no scientific proof of actually existing? That I should put all my faith into this thing that no one has ever seen or touched? That this entity controls what happens in our lives and on this earth? That I should pray to this entity to forgive my “sins,” cure illness, ease suffering? Are you friggin’ kidding me?

            Sorry, but no. I’m much more intelligent and logical than that, thank you very much. I don’t believe in things that don’t make sense and can’t be proven and can’t be seen with my own eyes. Believing is for pussies who are too afraid to take control of their own lives and take responsibility for themselves and their actions. It’s for people who are too afraid to see things for how they really are because you’re also telling me I should believe and have faith in an entity that would allow such suffering to exist. You want me to believe and have faith in something that would allow: AIDS and other horrible diseases to exist, kids to suffer and die from cancer, people to be homeless and starving, babies to be born with horrible birth defects, parents to die and leave young children alone and scared, or… should I keep on going?

            This god allows all of this pain and suffering to be all around us, yet this is also the same god people pray to to take this pain and suffering away or at least to lessen it? Yeah. That makes a ton of sense! Like I said, I’m far too logical to believe any of that crap. I just can’t wrap my head around any of that and I sure as hell can’t figure out how anyone else has been able to for centuries. Maybe I’m the weird one, and that’s fine. How could centuries of people be wrong, right?

Oh wait. I can answer that question- it’s called the crowd mentality. One person or persons, a very long time ago, decided to write a book and call it The Bible. Somehow this book became the be-all, end-all of everything that people should believe and what they should base their lives on. Suddenly, the story of a man named Jesus became THE story and this man became the person we should put all of our faith in. Seriously?

Isn’t it funny how in some situations all of the things he supposedly did would be considered magic (and black magic by some), but for the convenience of the bible they were considered ‘miracles?’ We are supposed to believe that on the 3rd day he rose again. Isn’t this the same as David Copperfield doing his disappearing act which is an illusion?! I’m quite sure Jesus did not actually die and rise again and drift off to heaven to be seated next his is father, god, who never actually even had intercourse to create him. Do you see how NONE of this makes any sense?!

And don’t tell me the bible isn’t meant to be taken literally- I know that! BUT… isn’t it also funny how people get to decide what should be taken literally and what should not based on what point they are trying to prove? Sorry, no again. It doesn’t work that way. You either believe or you don’t- it doesn’t get to be a matter of convenience. Like all these morons out there right now quoting the bible to oppose gay rights and gay marriage. Quoting the bible and saying we need to heed god’s word and it’s wrong “because the bible says so.” But then are we seriously meant to believe that Moses actually parted the Red Sea? No! This is a metaphor for being able to overcome adversity; overcome whatever obstacle is standing in the way of what our goals are.

Again, some people totally take this literally and believe that everything written in the bible is truth so let’s talk about the beloved story of Noah and the Ark for a second. We are to believe that one day, god got really pissed off at how everyone was acting, so he decided to essentially murder everyone on the earth except Noah and his family because they were the only ones so amazingly good that they could be spared. Then Noah was instructed to build an ark that was big enough to hold his family plus 2 animals from every species. Yes, I bet that isn’t an impossible feat! And somehow all of these animals instinctually knew to travel to said ark and were all able to get to the ark from all over the world. Yup- another totally possible thing! Then we are to believe that it rained for 40 days and 40 nights and at the end there was a lovely rainbow meant to be a symbol that god would never destroy the earth with a flood ever again. Well, gee thanks. I don’t have to be afraid of being drowned to death by this thing we are supposed to have faith in, but it could be any day now that he decides to murder all of us in some other way! Great.

But wait, I’m not done with good ol’ Noah just yet. We are also, from this story, supposed to take away that Noah and his family were spared so that the human race could continue and learn from the mistakes of their poor, murdered ancestors. Now how exactly was that supposed to happen? Last time I checked, the bible also renounced incest (the same way it renounces homosexuality). But how could the human race continue without incest if the only people spared were Noah, his wife, and their children? Somewhere along the line, for the human race to live on, Noah had to have sex with his daughters, his wife had to have sex with her sons, and the siblings needed to get it on with each other. I’m sorry. Am I the only one that thinks that is totally disgusting? Because now I realize I am a product of incest because my theory can also be applied to Adam and Eve. Gross! You also can’t tell me that whatever people were doing back then was bad enough to warrant a complete murder and obliteration of the whole world, but the shit going on in present day isn’t as bad that we are all left to live happily with our beliefs and faith? Come on now!!

I could go on and on and on about so many of the other ludicrous stories in the bible that so many take as literal, but I have so many other points to make! Some people are so blinded by faith, beliefs, and religion that they are unable to truly live their own lives and make their own decisions. In fact, they really constantly live in fear if you really think about it. They fear god and his wrath, they fear sinning and making biblical mistakes. How is living in fear any way to really live? I honestly get nauseous when I read/hear some of the wacky things people say in the name of religion. My eyes are constantly rolling. I don’t need to pray or “give it up to god.” What I need to do is take action in my own life- that’s what will get things done!

Believe it or not, I work as an independent distributor for a company that is biblically based. I continue to work for said company because I like the products and I make good money so I just ignore (and eye roll) all the religious crap that people spew. I also do a lot of laughing at people. Not so much in a mean way, but more in a “are you fucking serious right now” kind of way. Let me give you an example, if someone is having trouble in their business they will ask for prayers to get their business going again. Sorry, it’s not praying that you need to do- it’s called get off your ass and work for it! If someone didn’t make the money they expected during an event, people will offer up support by saying shit like, “don’t worry. It will get better and remember it’s not our business anyway, it’s god’s business.” What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Sorry again. It is MY business. I am the one doing all of the work needed to be successful. It sure as hell isn’t god doing the work! Then when someone has a good event, they will write things like, “Praise the lord. I thank our savior for blessing me in my business.” Again, are you fucking kidding me? Thank yourself for all the hard work you put in- give yourself some damn credit! Thank the people who made purchases- they are the ones that helped to make you money. It had nothing to do with god! I just don’t get it.

Recently, I had a friend who didn’t realize I am of the non-believing variety of humans. She asked me how I could not believe. My response was, “you don’t want to hear my answer because you may not like me at the end of it.” She is a VERY religious person who is thinking about leaving her very good job to become a pastor because she believes she is being called to do god’s work. I love her dearly, but I did an invisible eye roll when I heard that one. Of course, she pushed a bit, so I gave her my very, very short answer which was, “I don’t believe in things that can’t be proven and no one can prove that god exists.” Her response, which I expected and have heard before, was, “but you can’t prove that he doesn’t exist either.” I just left it at that because I was, up until that point, having a good time and didn’t want to get into a religious debate. But… had I answered her, all I would have said is, “just the absence of proof that he doesn’t exist, is proof that he actually does not exist.” It doesn’t take a philosopher to figure that one out.

I also can’t stand how so many supposed religious people are so holier than though when it comes to their supposed morality. So many religious freaks are the most immoral of people. I don’t need religion, faith, or to believe to be moral. Morality is about knowing right from wrong and about being a good person. I am a very moral and ethical person and it has nothing at all to do with religion. I am a good person and I am a nice person (now don’t get me wrong, I can turn mean and be a bitch if I need to). I am also pretty happy, satisfied, and fulfilled so don’t tell me I need religion in my life to “make my life more worthwhile.” I should also clarify, that I am not a devil worshiper as some of you reading this may think. In fact, I don’t even believe in the devil or in hell. I don’t think there could be anything worse than the hell that is everyday life. If there were something worse, then that would just be cruel- and wouldn’t that lead me back to my original point that there can’t be a god because of all the terrible things that exist in this world and why would anyone believe in and/or pray to something that would allow such things to exist?

So there you have it. I could keep going, believe me, but it seems that my point has come full circle.

{I have no problem with comments on this, but please, don’t try to religify me or “educate” me, or to change my mind. It won’t work; just the same way that I won’t be able to change your mind. People are strong in their beliefs. And you know what? If you are going to have strong and real beliefs about something, then that is great, and you should hold to them and not allow them to be changed (even if I think what you believe is silly and weak). Admit to your beliefs and hold on to them- it definitely makes you a more credible person.}